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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
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Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
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I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
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An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
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I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
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I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I am not young enough to know everything.
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Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
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I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
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Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 05:38
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